


Care Package

by oceania



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: M/M, Miller's Crossing - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-01-01
Updated: 2011-01-01
Packaged: 2017-10-14 07:53:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,393
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/147056
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/oceania/pseuds/oceania
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The story begins with the last scene in the epsiode <i>Miller’s Crossing</i>.and takes its cue from the look on John’s face when he refuses to let Rodney sacrificre himself to save Jeannie.  To me, it was clear that John was coming to grips with the way he felt about Rodney and his refusal to allow Rodney to feed himself to the Wraith was an act based solely on his love for the man. But I was unsatisfied with the ending which seemed as if John was agreeing with Jeannie that Rodney was “no John Shepppard” and that he believed himself to be better looking than Rodney.  That seemed out of character for the self-affacing John that I love so I took the story to where I imagined it ought to go.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Care Package

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lilyleia78](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lilyleia78/gifts).



Rodney stood up and headed for the door. He’d been stewing about it all day and finally he just had to ask. “Say, you and I are about even when it comes to looks, right?”

Sheppard laughed, “Who’s been lying to you?”  
“No, I'm serious.”  
“ I am too. Who's been lying to you?”

The door of John’s quarters whooshed open and they walked into the corridor.

Rodney huffed, “No one. Jeannie just said that physically, I was ‘no John Sheppard’ and I guess I was sort of surprised that she thought I was….well, you know….so unattractive.”

John stopped in his tracks and lowered his tone when several Marines jogged by, “Then, _she’s_ lying to you.”

Rodney turned and stared intently at John, “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means, that she’s been lying to you. You are….well…you’re more….what I mean to say is….” John swallowed hard. The last 24 hours had revealed some buried truths to him. John cleared his throat nervously.

Rodney continued to stare in confusion, directly into the Colonel’s hazel eyes. Suddenly, he saw something in them that clarified everything, or at least he dared to hope he saw it. “I’m more what?” he almost whispered.

“Attractive. You. More.”

“What are you Yoda or something? Are you telling me that you think I’m hot?”

John closed his eyes and sighed, “Yep.”

“But you aren’t into guys.”

“Well, I didn’t think so either until you were going to go all noble and let Todd kill you. I knew then. I couldn’t…you know…?”

Rodney sighed, “Just for me then?” He smiled and felt his face flush with happiness.

“Guess so.”

“Huh. Guess I kind of feel….you know…” he dropped his eyes and stared at his feet before adding quietly, “the same”. He took a steadying breath, words rushing out at top speed, “I’ve never been with a man either but I really really want to--” He looked embarrassed and lowered his tone, “I want to—you know—with you.” He laughed, “God, I so totally want you.”

“Rodney,” John’s voice was quiet and something in it made Rodney’s stomach lurch unpleasantly. “I…I mean…we…you know…” he sighed brokenly, “we can’t.”

“You’re kidding right? I mean for YEARS, I’ve been…..and now, that I know that you…this is crazy, Sheppard!” John recognized the look in Rodney’s eyes all too well: he’d seen it often enough. It was despair that lay behind the flash of anger.

John’s voice was broken glass. “I’m career military, Rodney, and technically your commanding officer and I….” He rubbed the back of his neck and averted his gaze. “We. Just. Can’t.”

“You’re an asshole COLONEL Sheppard,” Rodney hissed and pushed past him.

“Rodney!” John called after him in vain. “FUCK!” he screamed and punched the wall hard enough to damage both it and his knuckles. “Dammit! Fuck that hurts!” he hollered and stared dumbstruck at his bleeding knuckles.

“John?” the soothing voice of Teyla ghosted over him, and pulled him from his stupor. “You need to go to the infirmary; you’ve damaged your hand.”

Sheppard shrugged, and muttered through gritted teeth, “Nope. Just need to rinse it…nothing’s busted…m’fine.”

Teyla smiled indulgently, “You are not fine John. Your heart is broken.” She gently turned him to face her. “Why won’t you let yourself be happy?”

“How much of Rodney’s and my uh, _talk_ , did you hear?” He implored her silently, with clouded eyes.

“I didn’t hear anything that I didn’t already know,” she smiled and reached up to cup John’s cheek. “I’ve always known. Haven’t you?”

John began to lead her back to his quarters and didn’t speak again until they were inside. “I didn’t, actually. And then this afternoon, I did. I looked at him, and well…then I knew. I couldn’t let him sacrifice himself. If the girl’s father hadn’t volunteered, I would have.”  
“You love him.”

“Doesn’t matter Teyla. I can’t.”

“My people have long believed that love, _all_ love is sacred.”

“Well, the U.S. government doesn’t see things that way. Dishonorable discharge. Maybe even prison time. I’d lose Atlantis.”

“You’ll lose Rodney. And **that** , is likely to be an unbearable loss John.”

“I know that.”

Weeks passed. Same old life threatening shit. Different players. A victory of sorts, if one could ever call working _with_ the Wraith a victory.

John and Rodney had worked well together. They always did. In a particularly harrowing moment, Rodney had leaned in close and whispered, “Always friends okay? Always.” John’s heart had skipped a beat and he nodded mutely. It would never be enough.

The friendship slowly moved back to its pre-confessional level. Video games, movie nights, dinner with the team. John was even supportive of Rodney’s intention to ask Katie to marry him, but he was secretly jubilant when the relationship ended.

When the dust cleared after the Quarantine, amid scads of reports and urgent emails from the SGC, John found a rather strange email. It was from minnesotafisherman@gmail.com. It read simply, “Manila envelope blue sharpie” _Bizarre_ , he thought and as he reached to delete it, another email in his inbox caught his attention. It was from fallenforfisherman@yahoo.com. It read as follows, “Manila envelope with red address.”

John searched through the stack of mail Lorne had dropped on his desk, and found the two envelopes in question. Both were addressed to him. One in blue, the other in red. Both were marked “For YOUR eyes only” and bore General O’Neill’s seal. John tore them open. The first contained a coded message. The second, its cipher. “Cool,” John smirked. “Do I get a decoder ring too?” It took him the better part of an hour to decode the message, made more difficult by the need to decode the cipher as well. It had been written in columns rather than left to right. When he had finished, he sat back to read the letter.

Dear John,  
I received a rather unsettling note from your Athosian friend. She sent it by regular email but not to worry, I have had it expunged from the system. In it, she related her feelings about the DADT policy and for the “bajingan in charge” of our “esteemed military”. She recounted a story of two men stationed in Atlantis: men, whom, she claims, had been “fashioned for each other by the goddess.” Men who were “bound by some ridiculous, inhumane rule” to live apart. Men, she pointed out, “Who have devoted their lives to the service of others.” Both men, she claims, have put the needs of her people above their own personal safety on many occasions. She appealed to me for assistance in overturning the DADT mandate.

As you know John, I am unable to do that. But I’m working on it. In the meantime, I thought I would clarify how the SGC has treated similar situations in the past, so that you may be fair to your own men.

The work we do is top secret. I have found that reminding the President of the dangers of ‘telling’ the press about it has resulted in no one ‘asking’ personal questions of me **or anyone under my command.**

Imagine the chaos that would result from people on earth learning about the dangers posed by the Wraith, or the new and improved Replicators? It will be my pleasure to remind him of said dangers again if the need arises.

You will of course, need to counsel all those under your command to be discreet in their relationships. Fraternization among your people, although understandable given the circumstances, and constant threats you face, should not however, be flaunted by anyone, regardless of the gender of the parties in question.

Give my regards to Dr. McKay.

The note was signed simply,  
Jack (and Daniel)

At the bottom it said, _“Sent R. care package. D.”_

John laughed aloud and, gathering all the incriminating paper, called Rodney on his com, “McKay, I need to see you immediately in my office.”

“Busy here Colonel…” Rodney protested.

“NOW RODNEY!”

Ten minutes later, a breathless Rodney bounded in through the open door. It slid shut behind him and he heard it lock. “What the fuck, Sheppard? I thought it was an emergency….do you have any idea how far away I was?”

John smiled at him goofily. “Take a seat Rodney; read this while you catch your breath.” Rodney threw himself into the other chair and grabbed the letter impatiently. As he read, a flush began at his neck and slowly worked its way upwards until even his ears were pink.

“God Sheppard, this is embarrassing. Do you think this means that he and Daniel are, you know, doing it? And why the hell is Teyla writing him about DADT? Jeez….who do you think these two guys she’s talking about are? Lorne and Parrish spring to my mind but…”

John laughed heartily and reached for the letters. “I need to burn these. You sit there and try to figure out the mystery for a few moments.” Rodney absently passed him a lighter and they both watched, as the papers turned to ash in the metal garbage can.

The door chimed suddenly, and John opened it to a rather sheepish looking Major Lorne, “I found this parcel in with some of the office supplies you requisitioned sir; it’s addressed to Dr. McKay.”

“Thank you Major,” Rodney smiled and took the largish package. Lorne backed out of the room and Sheppard locked the door again.  
“Whatcha got Rodney?” John teased, as Rodney tore at the packaging aggressively.

“It’s from Daniel Jackson. Huh, thought he hated me…”

“So, let’s see!”

Rodney looked up in confusion and then slowly began to describe the contents.

“A good merlot, Godiva chocolates, well that’s nice I guess…..weird though…oh, and let’s see, a bottle of cinnamon scented massage oil, and a huge bottle of something called Astroglide. What the hell? How odd. Oh, and here at the bottom is a book…it’s called….holy crap….” Rodney slammed the lid back on the box and clutched it to his chest.

“What is it Rodney?” John smothered a snicker. He was really having fun now.  
“It’s a book called, _Man to Man: An Illustrated Guide to Gay Sex_ , Rodney muttered. “You don’t think he means that I…”

“Oh yeah, only he means me and you. And frankly, I’m a bit hurt at how slow you are on the uptake here. Let me spell it out. General O’Neill just told us to feel free to….you know…and Daniel sent us some ‘supplies’. And you are so adorable right now, I could just…I mean I want…”

“Oh. OH! Well, okay then…but we need to talk and there’s too much glass around for any privacy…” Rodney’s hands were shaking and moving even more rapidly than usual. “And, you know…well…wow. Just wow…you and me? You’re sure?”

“Meet me in my quarters at say, 1800 hours. We’ll have some dinner, some of that wine…and talk.”

“I’d like that.”

“Good. I’ll see you then.”

By 17:00, John was a nervous wreck. He’d spent the better part of the afternoon arranging for a special dinner without alerting the cooks to the identity of his ‘date’.

Sergeant Sullivan had smirked when John emphasized for the third time that his date was “not into” citrus. She certainly wasn’t about to ask her CO outright but she was inwardly gleeful. After all, she had Rodney to thank for her passionate relationship with Katie Brown. He had apparently managed to solidify her waffling sexual orientation and Sullivan had nothing but love for the man as a result.

She smiled fondly at John, “Colonel Sheppard, I was curious as to whether chocolate mousse would be something your date might enjoy?”

With an hour to go, John had ambled down to Teyla’s quarters for advice. After half an hour of hemming and hawing and coughing nervously, John had finally managed to croak out his impending change in ‘status’. She had greeted the news with delight and was eager to assist.

“I want to um, you know, let him know how I um..about..you know…but I don’t want to, um sound like…uh..a dork. Or look, you know? How can I do that?”

Teyla smiled and brought his forehead to hers. “Speak from your heart John and do not be afraid of silence. Love is a powerful spirit guide. If you listen, you will hear the answers to your questions.”

“I’m nervous about the….”

“Love him John. The rest will take care of itself.”

He’d left her quarters with a silk tablecloth, some candles and a growing sense of calm.

When he got to his quarters, he set up the small table and hopped into the shower. Each decision seemed huge. Should he shave again? What if Rodney liked the rugged look? What should he wear? Jeans or BDU’s? Did Rodney have a military kink? He didn’t’ think so…so he opted for snug button-fly Levis and a white cotton shirt which he left untucked. He was fussing over socks when he heard the door swoosh open. _Bare feet I guess_ , he thought.

Rodney cleared his throat and John turned to face him. He gulped. Rodney was also wearing jeans; his snug-fitting blue dress shirt emphasized a torso that had become well toned after three years of Ronon’s exercise regimen. He’d rolled the sleeves up revealing masculine forearms.

“You look good,” John stuttered. “Really good.”

Rodney blushed and his eyes drank in John’s body. If he was free to look now, he was going to take his time and savour every hard plane and angle.

“I look good? Delusional much?” He looked down and saw John’s bare feet and a small squeak escaped him. Gathering his wits he joked, “You realize that you’re totally hot…I mean fuck…you’re….just.. wow.”

John felt naked under Rodney’s gaze. Exposed. He shifted nervously and looked shyly over his lashes into Rodney’s unabashedly lust-filled eyes. “I..um… got some stuff for dinner,” he mumbled.

“I’m hungry,” Rodney chuckled leaving the “for you” unsaid.

“Well, we better sit. Sullivan made us a real pot roast. No mystery beef-ish. Genuine cow. And those little potato things you like.” He lifted the lid on the warming tray and smiled, “Carrots, real carrots.”

“She’s fucking Katie. I caught the two of them in a supply closet the other day 69ing. They didn’t even hear me and I rigged the door to stay locked for them. Figured I owed her that much.”

“That would explain the chocolate mousse.” John laughed. “I suspected she knew the food was for us.”

“Katie told me she ‘batted for both teams’. Guess having the shittiest boyfriend in two galaxies—anyway, Sullivan’s been giving me special treats ever since, which is no wonder since Katie’s an amazing…”

“Rule number one when you’re out on a date, Rodney? Do NOT talk about how great your last conquest was in bed.” John dished up the food sullenly.

"Oh my god, you’re pouting! Jesus John, I dumped her because she wasn’t you. Don’t be such a baby!” He grabbed John’s hand. “You're the only one I want to be with. Ever.”

For several long moments, he watched his dinner host let the words sink in, and then John's face lit up the way it did whenever he anticipated piloting an F-302. If Rodney had to put a name to the expression, he might call it ‘joy’. “Ever?” John asked. “Really?”

Rodney squeezed his hand and let it go, “Duh! Now pile on the potatoes. I’m gonna faint if I don’t re-fuel!” As they ate, the decidedly naked feet of the very hot John Sheppard increasingly distracted Rodney. After the third time Rodney dropped something on the floor just to sneak a peak at said feet, John knew he had discovered something very interesting indeed.

“You like my feet buddy?” he teased and slowly snaked a foot up the inside of Rodney’s leg before settling it firmly over Rodney’s thickening cock. John spread his long toes and pressed firmly, causing Rodney to choke on his wine. “That feel good buddy?” John voice was heavy with arousal.

Rodney gasped and whimpered, “Yes,” as he thrust against the stroking, prehensile toes. His eyes locked with John’s and he couldn’t look away, not even as John quickened the pace and Rodney knew he was going to blow. “God John, you’re gonna make me come,” he moaned and pushed a little harder against the sentient foot.

“Cool,” John wrapped his toes around the tip of Rodney’s denim bound cock and strummed it. Rodney’s eyes flew open and he grunted once, spilling into his pants. He sat there dazed for several moments, emerging from his delirium to the sound of wine being poured.

He looked at John who was smirking around his wine glass. Rodney took a long swallow of wine and smiled. “You know John, while you were getting this rather spectacular meal together, I spent some time reading the book. The pictures were quite helpful. When you’re done being smug, I’m going to make you beg for my cock up your ass. And I’m going to fuck you nice and slow because I can last a long time the second round.”

John blushed furiously and gasped for air. Rodney sustained his gaze and drew his tongue across his lips. John stood up abruptly. He grabbed Rodney by the hand and pulled him upright so quickly that Rodney fell into him. “What else did you learn?” he whispered.

Rodney leaned in, capturing John’s mouth. “I’m still hungry,” Rodney growled, “Mind if I eat you?” He dropped to his knees and began unbuttoning John’s pants. He tugged gently and they fell from John’s slim hips to pool around his ankles. “Get rid of them Sheppard,” Rodney softly commanded. Glancing up at John’s boxers, he chortled, “Airplanes John? What are you? Eight?”

John pushed the boxers down as well and snickered at Rodney’s sudden intake of breath, “Yeah, ‘bout that. Haven’t measured it though.”

Rodney gulped. A thrill of panicked arousal thrummed through him. “I’m suddenly feeling a tad…inadequate to the task at hand,” he said shakily, his earlier bravado replaced with growing unease. John pulled him to his feet gently and stroked Rodney’s cheek, affection clear in his eyes.

“There really isn’t anything you can do wrong, Rodney, but what’s say we slow things down a bit? Have a beer and eat chocolate mousse?” He leaned in and kissed Rodney tenderly. “Maybe watch a movie or something normal like that?” He reached for his pants and pulled his boxers up again.

“A moment of nerves, and you’re pulling your pants up. Seriously? I assure you Colonel LongShank, I’m made of sterner stuff. I’m not scared of your enormous cock: impressed…aroused…a little nervous even…but if you think we’re stopping now? You’re even crazier than I thought.”

“You think _I'm_ crazy?” John felt strangely defensive of himself and his supposedly enormous dick. “I’m not the one who….who…”  
Rodney had begun to stroke John’s cock again. “Shut up John,” he said gruffly and pushed John’s pants to the floor for a second time. John gasped as Rodney gripped his naked erection and gave it a few leisurely pulls. “Now, I spent all afternoon reading a how-to manual on fellatio, so unless you’ve have any other objections, I think I’d like to practice all that theory.”

John moaned, “No. I’m good.” Rodney dropped to his knees and stared quizzically at John’s thick cock, before nuzzling his face into the musky curls at its base.

“I could come just from smelling you. Fuck.” He looked up at John, who grinned at him. Rodney held his gaze and dragged his tongue, mischievously, up the length of John’s cock. “Mmm, the book said I should…” He suddenly took John deep into his mouth, swirling his tongue around as he pulled back. After several slow sucks, he focussed his tongue’s attention on the head, gently nibbling and sucking, while his hand pumped slowly up and down the shaft.

“Fuck Rodney…” John stumbled a little, his knees giving out.

“Sit,” Rodney suggested, gently coaxing him backwards until John felt his knees hit the bed. He collapsed bonelessly, and Rodney’s mouth was back in seconds, driving him mad. Rodney could feel the swell of John’s impending climax and pulled off suddenly.

“Don’ stop, Rodney,” John moaned softly. “Killin’ me here…”

Rodney laughed quietly and quickly peeled John’s pants and boxers the rest of the way off. “Love you so much,” he murmured into John’s neck as he leaned in to nuzzle, deftly unbuttoning John’s shirt at the same time.

The declaration released something primal in John and he swiftly sprang into action: he grabbed the sides of Rodney’s face and roughly pulled him down into a heated kiss, growling when their tongues met. He struggled for dominance as Rodney met his ferocity with a feral groan. The next few moments were a wrestling frenzy of entwining limbs and tearing at each other’s clothing until at last they were naked, sweaty and excruciatingly hard.

“Jesus Rodney,” John gasped. “Gotta breathe for a sec.”

Rodney chuckled thickly and began to gently stroke John’s cock again while idly nibbling and licking John’s left ear. When he flicked his tongue around its elfin edges, John moaned and his legs fell open in invitation. Taking note, Rodney brought his hand to John’s mouth, “Get these wet will ya?”

John sighed deeply and began to suck on the fingers, moaning softly and circling his tongue slowly around each tip. Rodney groaned and shifted his body slightly so that he was nosing the soft curls at the base of John’s thick cock. He blew a soft breath across John’s balls and began a gentle exploration of the sensitive area. John brought his knees up and spread his legs wider.

“Oh…okay…wow,” Rodney said, somewhat awed by the offer.

John moaned and grabbed the base of his engorged cock when he felt Rodney’s slippery fingers begin to stroke and push against his opening. “Nguh…good…”

“You like that John?”

John moaned and thrust against Rodney’s busy fingers.

“Hey, slow down John, I don’t want to rush this. We need to go slow…”

John groaned and gasped out breathlessly, “Bedside drawer.” Rodney crawled up John’s body and leaned over to open it.

He stared wide-eyed at the drawer’s contents. “What the hell?” he stammered. “You’ve got toys? What is all this stuff?”

John took a deep breath. “Nancy knew a lot about well, you know and she used to…well..and I kind of liked it and I picked up a few things over the years…and then…god, this is so awkward…”

Rodney smiled, “You’ve been um… ‘doing’… yourself with these?” He cleared his throat, “These…uh, ‘accourtrements’ and thinking about me?”

John squeaked, “Maybe?”

Rodney was caught between hilarity and orgasm at that thought so he opted for a snerking noise instead and reached for the half-empty bottle of lube in the drawer. “Well, my dirty Colonel, I guess you’re about to find out if the real thing pales in comparison to these…” He grabbed a prostate vibrator with _Naughty Boy_ in bold lettering on its base.

“An orange dildo John?”

“Fleece….” John groaned in embarrassment.

“You’re adorable…” Rodney beamed and leaned down to kiss John’s flushed face. “You’re in love with me,” he said proudly.

“Uh-huh,” John said shyly. “For ages.” He pulled Rodney into a soft kiss, that quickly turned frantic. “Need you…needyou…please….”

“Since you asked so nicely,” Rodney teased and continued his gentle preparation. Hours of study proved that at least in this case, the theory proved itself and when he pressed into John, it was without discomfort.

What the book had not described was the exquisite heat that enveloped him as John opened himself to him, nor the emotions that overcame him when he looked into John’s eyes. Nor did he fully expect the effect his movement would have on John, who writhed and groaned as each thrust strummed over his prostate. Rodney watched the ecstasy transform the angular planes of John’s normally stoic face and closed his eyes to memorize the sight before losing himself in the sensation of the gentle give and take between them.

So lost in fact that he was taken completely by surprise when John arched off the bed and gave a low growl of passion, “Yeah, like that, yaah Rodney, so good..so close…so close…”

John’s head was thrown back, neck exposed invitingly and Rodney nibbled and laved it, his breath hot in John’s ear. “Gonna come for me John?”

“Touch me…” John whispered.

Rodney reached for John’s cock and stroked it only twice before he felt John tighten around him. He held on as he shuddered and shook beneath him, marvelling at John’s utter surrender. When John’s eyes flew open and locked onto his just as Rodney felt the hot pulse of John’s release spilling over his hand, Rodney was dragged into his own abyss--shouting his completion in fiery abandon

He collapsed onto John as the pleasure continued to ripple through his body, his muscles jerking and twitching with its ebb and flow. John stroked his back and murmured words of love into his ear as he stilled. “Ssssh…I’ve got you. Ssssh, it’s okay, I’ve got you…”

It was several moments before Rodney shifted to his side. He gathered John into his sturdy arms. “Mmmm? You ‘kay?” he mumbled sleepily, a sated smile rendering his face almost boyish.

“Yeah. I’m good. Yer so sexy…” John sighed happily, slowly opening his eyes as he gently stroked Rodney’s side.

“Well, I’m no John Sheppard,” Rodney chuckled.

John yawned and draped himself across Rodney’s body, “You’re beautiful,” he snuffled against Rodney’s chest.

“I’m gonna choose to take that as a compliment Sheppard because we just had cosmic sex and I’m pretty sure it’s the endorphins that have addled your brain, but I swear if you EVER call me ‘beautiful’ outside of the bedroom, I will end you.”

John laughed and pulled Rodney closer, “I love you too,” he chuckled as he pulled up the comforter around them.


End file.
